How to Date in a Small Town – 10 Simple Solutions

Stacy KarynSingle Life5 Comments

Small town dating can be rough. There’s no question about that. But what if I told you that it’s possible to turn your dating woes into dating successes (even if it seems you have run out of matches)? Yes it’s true that you may not have it as easy as the singles who live in big cities… in some ways. But big city daters have their own special struggles to deal with. So you might as well embrace this problem and figure out how to move past it. Let’s break this down and talk about how to date in a small town.  

1. Slow Down

While it may be okay to whiz through your Tinder matches if you are living in a place like New York City, small town dating is different. Make sure to give each potential suitor a fair chance when browsing matches online. If you go too fast, you may be out of options by noon.

2. Make use of Facebook

Facebook Groups are becoming more and more popular, offering groups for everything you can imagine. Find a nearby group and join it. Once in, don’t be afraid to message a couple of the group members to say hi. Just try not to be creepy. Put together a very friendly message explaining that you are new to the group, and ask a question about it. Who knows what will happen from there.

3. Travel

You might be thinking that this isn’t exactly a tip on how to date in a small town, but it is. Travel opens you up for new perspectives and ideas. It might seduce you and cause you to fall in love with a new city. It might steer you into an international relationship. It might make you more desirable as a person. Or, it might just give you closure on your situation back home. Whatever the outcome, it’s always a fruitful choice.

4. Play Games

Even if you once told yourself that you would never play something like Pokemon Go, games like these can provide a really fun opportunity for meeting others. Geocaching is also a good one, as there are often times meetup events in the smallest of towns.

5. Level up

Speaking of games, you also should be trying to level up a bit… in real life. Since you are in a small town, the competition is going to be fierce, so it’s important to be on top of your game. Don’t you want to be that one person in the town that everyone wishes they could date? The one person that gets snatched up the second they are single? Well you can be. Turn that person into you.

6. Talk to Strangers

This may not be the most comfortable thing to do, but get into the habit of starting genuine conversations with the people around you. To warm up, ask the bank teller about how her kids are doing. Or, chat with the mailman about the weather. It doesn’t necessarily have to be “flirting”. A simple conversation can open up more doors than you can imagine. Who knows? Maybe the mailman’s son or daughter is single.

7. Go to Class

If you are a student, go to class. Get involved. This is a surefire way to meet people. And if you aren’t a student, consider signing up for some adult education classes. Learn to sew. Learn a language. Or, consider enrolling in a graduate program!

8. Play Sports

Joining some kind of league, team, or organization comes with major social benefits. Whether you choose to sign up for the gym, tennis, or even just a bowling league, you’ll be exposing yourself to way more people than if you were to stay home and keep bumming out about not knowing how to date in a small town.

9. Network

Well, not in the business sense, but do get talking! Slip your situation into conversations with your dearest friends and family members. Meeting potential partners through your circle is a great place to start. It just takes five words – “Know anyone who is single?”.

10. Party

Yep, even small towns have parties. Between the wine, darkness, and the seduction of the music, you just might find yourself starting to wonder why you’ve never considered that neighbor you grew up with as a potential sexual partner.

Now some of these ideas might seem simple, and it’s because they are. All it takes is a slower pace, some investment in yourself, and most importantly, getting out of your house and comfort zone. If you do these things, you’ll be maneuvering the small town dating scene with ease, while your single friends continue to bum out over pints of ice cream.

Have you ever had to date in a small town?

We’d love to hear all about it in the comments below. And if you’d like to share how you met your partner in a small town, I’m sure others would love to hear about that too!

Until next time,

how to date in a small town

5 Comments on “How to Date in a Small Town – 10 Simple Solutions”

  1. Grew up in a small town and live in a small town and I have to agree with these tips. Just have to keep your nose clean – rumors spread so quickly in small towns! It can absolutely be awful.

  2. While I may not be the target audience for this blog, I was poking around the internet and stumbled upon it, and I’d like to offer some personal insights.

    Dating is even challenging in a town my size (roughly about a hundred thousand), and lately it’s become intolerable. This is all good advice, however and I’m not trying to start trouble here, none of it works. What’s happened in my town is that you have small cliques, and those inside them form relationships with other members of their social circle. So you have this perverted venn diagram where each member’s circle overlaps with all other members, and when they’ve exhausted all options then it’s either self imposed celibacy or going back to the beginning. I’m not talking about anything like “polyamory”, I’m talking about nobody willing to go outside of their social group to form relationships. It’s a phenomenon that I have dubbed “in-dating”. And god forbid if two in the group step out of their roles, and get together when the rest of the group disapproves. “What? The nice guy and the crazy girl? No, no!! That can’t happen!!”. There also seems to be many who are developmentally arrested, and many women are still looking for that “bad boy” well into their 30’s and 40’s. “I want an attitude, I want a challenge”. That might be fine when you’re 22 or 23, but at 42?

    I’m starting to think that there’s something in this town that makes people toxic messes (I live in place with a major Ivy League University, hint; NOT Harvard), and I don’t know what it is. Limited career prospects. Alcohol. Feeling of hopelessness. The air. The water. Something is setting people off around here, and I’m seriously thinking I’m needing a change of location. I can’t help but think that if I had lived somewhere like Chicago, then things would be a lot different. And if you’re thinking “no, no, it’s gotta be you”, when I went to Copenhagen it was a completely different atmosphere.

    There’s an old saying about dating in a small town; You didn’t lose you girlfriend, you lost your turn. If I had to add something to that, it would be “you weren’t getting in the line up to begin with”.

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