Re-approaching the dating scene?
Although online dating after divorce is often not quite as difficult as it sounds, there are a few tricky situations and emotions that can get the in the way of your success.
Here are my do’s and don’ts for online dating after divorce:
DO put yourself out there. It may be intimidating, especially after being in a long relationship. However, you may also be surprised as to how many people are in the same boat as you.
DON’T use any kind of negative self-talk. Inner chatter of “I’m not good enough” and “Who would want me?” is way more self-destructive than you might think. Replace these with simple phrases like “I’m ready” and “Let’s do this!”. For more on self-esteem, check out this article.
DO tell your date that you have gone through a divorce (somewhere between the 1st and 3rd date). This may even encourage your date to open up about something as well, building an immediate and strong connection between the two of you.
DON’T create long lists of “must haves” in a partner. Yes, you probably want to avoid repeating mistakes from the past, but these types of lists can be a huge turn off. Keep things short and sweet! Spend less time talking about your requirements, and more time talking about your interests, goals, and hobbies.
DO surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Dating is tough, especially the second time around. It’s important to have as much positivity on your side as possible.
DON’T talk about your ex. This is uncomfortable for both parties. After sharing the information with your date, drop it and move on to something else.
DO give OkCupid and Tinder a try. They are easy to use. They both have a huge user-base. And, you are not required to state your marital status on either one. The fact that you are divorced is very private information. You don’t necessarily have to share this with everyone on the internet. However, with sites like Match.com, you do have to include this in your profile settings.
And the most important ‘DO‘ of all?
The most important thing is to remember that you are not alone! You are no less wonderful, special, attractive, or interesting because of your past. If anything, you are even more interesting. So use this to your advantage and start building up a relationship with that person you’ve been dreaming about!
Until next time,