Most of us have experienced (or will experience at some point) a “time-wasting” date with someone who turns out to be mean, un-showered, boring, or just plain awkward. Unfortunately, underwhelming dates are an unavoidable part of the online dating process, and the major bummer is that one mediocre date could potentially turn you away from dating for a good while!
But luckily there are a handful of exciting ways you can help yourself get through any awkward dates you may encounter in the future!
1. Check something off your list
It can be easy to get into the habit of always meeting your first dates at the same ol’ bar. You’re comfortable there, you know your way around, you have a good corner picked out of where you’re going to sit, and the staff knows you by name. But this type of thinking can actually promote staleness in the date without even intending to or realizing it!
So, instead of going back to your most frequented spot, suggest meeting up at a bar or food spot that you have always wanted to try! This way, you can work towards your goal of seeing more of your city while sifting through your potential future partners!
2. Work on your active listening skills
Active listening is an insanely valuable skill to have when it comes to family, friends, work, and pretty much all types of relationships. And although it may seem like a daunting thing to learn, first dates are the perfect place to practice this! Plus, if you actually learn to listen, your dates might not turn out to be so disappointing after all. You may end up getting to know someone who never would have opened up to you otherwise.
Instead of meeting up at a bar, meet up at a location in which you can expand your skills at something, like a bowling alley. This way, even if you have absolutely nothing in common with your date, you can also strive for your best game of bowling!
Meet up at an open dance class or a cooking class. Go wine tasting. Meet up for a trivia night. Play pool. The options are endless! Keep moving yourself forward. You can get creative with this… what do you want to get better at?
4. Learn something from them
There’s a great quote from Bill Nye that states, “Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” So if you and your date aren’t clicking, try to make it your goal to find that “something” by the end of the night … and then learn as much as you can about it.
5. Examine Yourself
This one is the harshest item on the list, and I apologize if it brings out any frustrations. But before you get all mad about how lame your date was, take a good look at how you behaved on the date as well. What do you think they are now thinking about you? How can you change this for next time?
For example, if you realized that your self-confidence was a bit low, it may be time to pick up a new hobby to re-stimulate your passion and confidence. If you felt a bit bored by your date, maybe you are actually feeling bored with yourself. Did you forget to shower after your afternoon workout? Maybe you’re the one making your date uncomfortable. This is a great time to do some journaling and self-reflection.
So, if you are ready to follow any one of these tips above, you will have the opportunity to gain confidence in the fact that you will never waste your time on a date again! Besides, you may even turn a what would have once been “bad date” into an “awesome date”. You have more control over this situation than you think!
Have fun, keep growing, and happy dating!